Hopelessness?

Hopelessness. Sometimes it takes over when things seem too shitty to look through the muck. Well, so many people deprive themselves of pleasure on purpose, and others create chaos. Others pretend they don't want drama but feel more alive when things are dramatic. It is all too muddy to decipher but one thing is true. If you can try not to take yourself too seriously, to take a deep breath (have an orange soda-two cubes), to actually drink and smoke, you are doing okay. Also, try and be thankful for people you can vent to/talk to. If you have that you are lucky. When the shit hits the fan, acknowledge how well (or how poorly) you are handling it. That will help you feel less like someone with a desire to write songs for the weather channel, and more like someone writing the "great american novel".